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Opinion: Polygamy power

So So Gay ponders the possibilities of Polygamy.

One of my exes once broke up with me with the immortal line, “My other boyfriend doesn’t want an open relationship any more and I prefer him to you.”

Retrospectively, through hindsight and my own experiences of dating people, I should have seen it coming. They’d been together for almost a year, whereas I’d been seeing him for barely two months. I was a stupid and naive eighteen year-old, who had been convinced by one too many romantic comedies that a man who cooks you Shepherd’s Pie and kisses you during sex is basically a ring and a hot air balloon ride away from proposing. I left for university two days after he ended things and spent the next four months getting dangerously drunk and telling anyone who would listen why he was perfect for me and how much of a twat he was.

That was my first experience of open relationships and a bit of a crash course in them as well. I’d known about my ex’s other boyfriend since before we’d started seeing each other – my ex had told me about their relationship himself. It was painful being dumped in favour of someone else and I wish I’d been just a tiny bit more emotionally mature before it happened.

So, to get to the point, why am I still convinced having an open relationship is both more rewarding and more viable than a monogamous relationship?

Much like yoga and listening to Radio 2, I can see why people do monogamy, but I find it a little boring. Why can’t a working relationship be between two people who don’t mind their partner having relationships with other people as well? Whether it’s them meeting someone from Grindr while you’re at the gym and having the sheets in the wash by the time you get home, or all three of you settling down to watch The Great British Bake Off, then a quick bit of mutual masturbation and off to your respective bedrooms before work in the morning. These shouldn’t be seen as somehow inferior to societal norms; washing the car on Saturdays and having other monogamous types over to discuss children, housing prices and how you now find your partner as sexually alluring as a wheelie bin.

People tend to get a lot of stick for polygamy, or open relationships or whatever variation they practice. The fight for gay equality has made harsher cuts than the ConDem coalition in order to make us seem more palatable; ‘enjoying sex with different partners’ was seen as unacceptable to the wider public, so the Gay Agenda got rid of it in their ’02 manifesto. A heterosexual (as far as I know) friend of mine was recently describing how a number of the gay couples she knows are in open relationships and I found the complete lack of judgement surprising. I know gay men who discuss that kind of thing as though the couple have just announced a penchant for bestiality.

Monogamy was invented – and it was invented, by the way; it’s natural for penguins, not for humans – for a number of reasons. Men wanted to make sure it was definitely their baby they were raising and not some cuckoo kid, and women really didn’t enjoy getting Chlamydia every other week, so they decided they’d just pick one other person to sleep with and it’d all be fine. I can’t fault their logic but, seeing as we are sometimes less likely to get pregnant, it’s not really applicable to us. If you don’t want to catch an STD, we have condoms for that. They are readily available from all sexual health clinics for free.

An open relationship doesn’t have to mean you’re going to end up alone, riddled with disease and sobbing into your wedding dress (‘never used, worn once’). When you start having sex in a new relationship, it needs to be safe. You don’t know your new partner, and you might not know any of their ex partners either. Even if you do – and let’s face it, the gay world is notorious for friend-cest – this will probably make you more careful rather than less so, particularly if you know one of your mates is on first name terms with all the nurses at the local STD clinic.

I personally believe you’re less likely to catch something serious in an open relationship, so long as you’re using protection. Whilst I know I’m religious about using protection with partners regardless of whether I’m sleeping solely with them or not, some of my friends decided to stop using protection in their apparently monogamous relationship because they’re in ‘love’ and subsequently got VD for Valentine’s Day. If they’d known their man was dipping his wick anywhere else at all, let alone sans condom, they may have been less eager to start going at it raw, saving them an embarrassing itch and a course of antibiotics. In the same way, if you’re in an open relationship and condoms are standard, your partner slipping one on wouldn’t seem amiss to you, but if you thought you were both monogamous and your boyfriend was still insisting on them two years in or, worse, started using a condom again after a period of barebacking with you, your romantic evening in would probably dissolve into tearful recriminations and no orgasms for anybody.

Awfully, and maybe I’m being too pessimistic here, let’s say you knew you’d been sleeping around but you didn’t want your boyfriend to find out. Would you start using a condom again and risk a very uncomfortable talk, or would you leave the protection off and risk giving him something? You hadn’t been showing any symptoms and you’d been careful with everyone else, so you probably didn’t have anything; he’d be fine. Three months down the line, you’re not, he’s not, and your relationship’s not.

But let’s move away from the dark stuff and discuss something altogether more enjoyable about relationships, monogamous or not; SEX! We live in the most sexually liberated society in human history. Now we’re encouraged to try different things with our partners to see whether we’ll discover something that really drives us wild. Even the notoriously slow-on-the-uptake heteros are jumping on board the sexual revolution train; when your parents are going dogging on weekends with Sue and Barry from two doors up, you know things aren’t what they were thirty years ago. Society has loosened up.

New things turn people on, which is why it’s difficult to find someone who’s always going to float your boat. It’s why the cliché of sex stopping after you get married exists; because once you limit yourself to one other person, you’re also limiting yourself to their sexual proclivities. Imagine your sexual psyche as one circle in a Venn diagram. Where it crosses over with your partner’s, that’s the bit of sex you both enjoy. Some couples are lucky and their circles lie almost directly on top of one another, but some couple’s Venn diagrams only intersect very partially. Now stick a couple of extra circles on there. See? Lots more sexual opportunity! It means that, just because one boyfriend doesn’t really like you wearing stockings and calling yourself ‘Martha’ in the bedroom, you can have another boyfriend who’ll let you and love it.

There’s also the issue of your moods and the fact it’s impossible to predict them. There will be some days you will want the full works – sling, handcuffs, ball-gag etc, and there will be some days when you want to wake up and have sleepy hungover morning sex where neither one of you cares what the other’s hair looks like because you adore each other. If you’re in a monogamous relationship, you can’t have both; either the sex will be too boring or too wild. An open relationship allows you to have both; to explore every inch of your sexual psyche, no matter how sordid, whilst also being able to go home after a hell of a day, make two cups of tea and complain about your job to someone who isn’t necessarily expecting you to put on a collar and cover them in hot wax. You’ve fulfilled any primal urges you’ve had and you’re still giving your love to someone who reciprocates.

You hear ‘oh, I couldn’t deal with the jealousy’ from a lot of people when polygamy is brought up, but you don’t receive a free jealousy-dectomy the minute you decide you’re only going to date one person. The green-eyed monster is just as likely to strike someone who thinks their partner is spending a little too long laughing at that barman’s jokes as someone whose partner has just blown the barman in the stockroom. The ability to feel and deal with jealousy is a positive thing; if you’re one of those people who can’t, it’s probably going to ruin your relationship whether it’s monogamous or not. Having an open relationship is about being honest with your partner and, apart from ‘does this make me look fat?’, there’s never anything wrong with honesty. Discussing what’s acceptable and what’s not – ‘no staying overnight, no seeing them again, no members of my family’, for example – can result in a level of closeness some monogamous couples can only dream of.

Finally, and in a throwback to how I started, dating more than one person can lead to emotional upset and eighteen year olds having their phones confiscated after twelve Sourz shots and a slurred shriek of “I JUST WANT TO TELL HIM HE’S A @*!%.” That’s relationships for you. When they end, more often than not someone’s going to get hurt. But this hurt can be mitigated with honesty from the start, and recognising how to draw the boundaries you’ve set.

Maybe an open relationship isn’t for you, though. Some people are probably very good at only sleeping with one other person for twenty years, and there is nothing  – repeat, nothing – wrong with that. If you find the prospect of sleeping with anyone other than your significant other completely unappealing, it’s not a problem and I’d never tell you it was. The purpose of this is not to put up a podium and declare polygamy the only viable form of relationship; all I’m saying is ‘don’t knock it – or us – until you’ve tried it’. I cannot guarantee that I’ll never change my mind about this either. As with many things, I’ll not limit myself to that.

Comments

comments

139 Comments

  1. Gobby_Gary

    5 Sep 2012 at 08:33

    @Baxfail @sosogay Vhonest article, though I disagree with its central proposition;extending, as it does, the stereotype of the slapper-gay.

    • Baxfail

      5 Sep 2012 at 08:39

      @Gobby_Gary To be fair, that’s why I’ve marked it as opinion and tried to explain my fact-based reasoning for why I prefer polygamy.

      • Gobby_Gary

        5 Sep 2012 at 08:52

        @Baxfail oh indeed. Tis most thought provoking, as all good articles should be! See you at Leeds station tomorrow? 😉

      • natox78

        5 Sep 2012 at 11:10

        @Baxfail This isn’t about polygamy. The word is actually polyamory. Tis important not to mix the two as they mean two different things.

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 11:39

          @natox78 Yeah, I googled the concepts beforehand and wasn’t actually sure either of them fit – the article isn’t really about love at all

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 11:39

          @natox78 IMO, anyway.

  2. markryes

    5 Sep 2012 at 08:44

    @Baxfail @SoSoGay GREAT GREAT ARTICLE! Thoroughly enjoyed it, and IMHO you are 100% correct!

  3. chrispm87

    5 Sep 2012 at 08:47

    @Baxfail an interesting read Baxium, some thought provoking ideas!

  4. Jamie

    5 Sep 2012 at 08:50

    My opinion is that at the start of a relationship you don’t commit but eventually someone becomes the only one. At least for a while …

  5. RuariC

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:07

    I have begun to look forward to @Baxfail’s opinion pieces on @SoSoGay – this week does not disappoint. Polygamy isn’t a dirty word, is it?

    • Josh__Atkins

      5 Sep 2012 at 09:09

      @RuariC @baxfail @sosogay *hides behind altar desperately reciting Hail Mary’s*

      • Baxfail

        5 Sep 2012 at 09:10

        @Josh__Atkins @ruaric @sosogay *stands on altar defiantly doing Proud Marys*

        ROLLIN’. ROLLIN’. ROLLIN’ ON THE RIVERRRRRR.

        • RuariC

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:14

          @Baxfail @Josh__Atkins @SoSoGay Tina Turner references will get you in my pants.

      • RuariC

        5 Sep 2012 at 09:10

        @Josh__Atkins @baxfail @sosogay Watch out for the vicar, you’ll need more than a few Hail Marys and Hello Dollys to save you…

        • Josh__Atkins

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:12

          @RuariC @baxfail @sosogay *hides under covers from all the immorality and sin*

        • RuariC

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:15

          @Josh__Atkins @Baxfail @SoSoGay Those aren’t the Altar covers, dear, that’s the Vicar’s cassock.

    • rasga

      5 Sep 2012 at 09:10

      @RuariC @baxfail @sosogay I think I’d disagree on the point saying you can’t have kinky sling sex, and also sweet morning sex 😛

      • Baxfail

        5 Sep 2012 at 09:12

        @rasga @ruaric @sosogay You are a lucky, lucky man, then!

        • rasga

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:17

          @Baxfail Indeed, one of those rare occasions where circles overlap a lot too. Very lucky :)

  6. stuartkp

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:30

    @Baxfail Who’s to say you can’t have kinky bondage sex and romantic morning sex?! Slash I disagree with the premise, but each to their own.

  7. blainepike

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:32

    @SoSoGay shouldn’t this be polyandry? 😛

    • SoSoGay

      5 Sep 2012 at 09:35

      @blainepike *ponders* @baxfail

      • ChrisSomeone

        5 Sep 2012 at 09:38

        @SoSoGay @blainepike @Baxfail or polyamory?

        • blainepike

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:40

          @ChrisSomeone @SoSoGay @Baxfail if we want to be fully inclusive, then this’d be the most politically correct. Y’know. For such a debate 😉

        • ChrisSomeone

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:42

          @blainepike @SoSoGay @Baxfail #equalopportunities

        • blainepike

          5 Sep 2012 at 09:42

          @ChrisSomeone @SoSoGay @Baxfail DEFOS.

  8. dabigjim

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:33

    @Baxfail I feel personally offended. Me & Nick aren’t boring. Find someone (one) to love & you wouldn’t spread yourself so thin, as it were.

    • ColinStarfish

      5 Sep 2012 at 09:49

      @dabigjim @Baxfail no no no. Danny doesn’t spread, he has made that quite clear. He’s the knife, he does the spreading.

      • dabigjim

        5 Sep 2012 at 09:59

        @ColinStarfish @baxfail To paraphrase, I’ve never properly felt love from one man & I’m a bit slutty so I’ll presume I should fuck >1

  9. spherelibrary

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:41

    @Baxfail Brilliantly written! I’d never thought about it in that way before.

  10. MontyMcKinnen

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:42

    @SoSoGay erm… Keys in an ashtray?

  11. theguyliner

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:45

    Tricycles only have limited appeal, I have found. Sooner or later, the realisation that two wheels is more efficient sets in, and then it’s bye bye to the spare.
     
    Sexual thrills aside, connecting on an emotional level is usually necessary to maintain any relationship. In most menage à trois situations, there’s seldom enough to go round. Open relationships with one core couple and an array of fuck buddies on the side are, of course, a different matter and suit some, I’m sure. But they are not to my taste. I want all eyes, all hands, all thoughts on ME. I’m certainly worth the effort.

  12. billynomates

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:55

    I see what you’re saying to a degree but I will never understand why people listen to Radio 2. The other day they were playing Chariots of Fire. I mean, come on.

  13. Nate_Dodd

    5 Sep 2012 at 09:59

    @Baxfail @sosogay

  14. andyluvv

    5 Sep 2012 at 10:01

    @liamwaterloo @caspararemi @Baxfail I never understand the condom argument against STDS. A friend caught HIV recently – the condom broke.

    • caspararemi

      5 Sep 2012 at 10:02

      @andyluvv It’s not foolproof but other than abstinence it’s as good as it gets (I’ve not read the article yet so not sure bat reference…)

      • andyluvv

        5 Sep 2012 at 10:04

        @caspararemi oh the article just says that if you want to asleep with other people and are worried about STDs then there’s a condom for that

      • andyluvv

        5 Sep 2012 at 10:07

        @caspararemi the terris Higgins trust are making a campaign saying the more people you sleep with, the more are the chances of getting a STD

        • caspararemi

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:07

          @andyluvv abstinence it is, then! :p

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:08

          @caspararemi lol no but I think that is rarely talked about. My friend reads attitude and I was surprised he never heard about PEP.

        • caspararemi

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:10

          @andyluvv yeah I guess, the info can be easy to miss. It’s usually confined to THT ads. Maybe worth a SSG feature @liamwaterloo

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:10

          @caspararemi more than just sex I think gay media should talk more about being “sexually responsible” and knowing the risks / prevention.

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:11

          @caspararemi @liamwaterloo also…internal homophobia which seems so rampant and rarely talked about in our community :p

        • caspararemi

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:12

          @andyluvv hah, was talking about internalised homophobia with @ethanbourneuk just a few days ago @liamwaterloo

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:15

          @caspararemi @EthanBourneUK @liamwaterloo I was talking about it with @izaak_slays & @THEPRINCELIVES it seems more noticeable during Pride

        • caspararemi

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:16

          @andyluvv that’s exactly how it came up actually, a discussion about pride :)

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:17

          @caspararemi I am so very not surprised! 😛 what bugs me is that those people usually don’t realise their own internalised homophobia

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:19

          @caspararemi EVEN when some people I spoke to said they don’t identify as gay. I was baffled, really…

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:23

          @caspararemi Another interesting topic that I discussed with @THEPRINCELIVES is how our sexually liberated killed romance but craves for it

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 10:25

          @caspararemi Another interesting topic that I discussed with @THEPRINCELIVES is how sexual liberation killed romance, but we still want it.

        • liamwaterloo

          5 Sep 2012 at 11:15

          @andyluvv @caspararemi @EthanBourneUK @izaak_slays @THEPRINCELIVES I discussed it briefly here: http://t.co/aROi7QQ5

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 11:33

          @liamwaterloo Liam, that is SO well written I would kiss it if I could. I often found that there were roots in gender roles and misogyny.

        • THEPRINCELIVES

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:43

          @liamwaterloo @andyluvv @caspararemi @ethanbourneuk @izaak_slays well written article, the anecdotes were very relatable & speak volumes

        • izaak_slays

          5 Sep 2012 at 19:53

          @andyluvv @caspararemi oh pride is an utter shit show. all these fit lads pretending not to fancy one another for fear of seeming gay

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 19:54

          @izaak_slays @caspararemi Well, pride shouldn’t be a hunting ground :P. It’s something else that’s being celebrated innit!

        • izaak_slays

          5 Sep 2012 at 19:56

          @andyluvv @caspararemi its just rather odd. people don’t want to mingle. they self segregate

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 19:57

          @izaak_slays @caspararemi Perhaps it’s once again – the identification issue..it’s rather sad. I mingle with anyone who will talk to me 😛

        • izaak_slays

          5 Sep 2012 at 19:58

          @andyluvv exactly i go to dance and mingle and make new acquaintances and its nice bc you don’t have to play the “is he gay” game.

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 19:59

          @izaak_slays I find it refreshing because too many gay men go to the gym for instagram photos. It’s nice to see people who don’t do that!

        • izaak_slays

          5 Sep 2012 at 20:00

          @andyluvv i just love the open atmosphere, im not a big club fanatic and only turning 21 a few days ago i’ve been to one bar.

        • andyluvv

          5 Sep 2012 at 20:10

          @izaak_slays yeah I love how welcoming it looks like a big party in the open

  15. km747

    5 Sep 2012 at 10:01

    @Baxfail @sosogay good article but shows a little naivety from the writer what a true loving and monogamous relationship is all about.

  16. andyluvv

    5 Sep 2012 at 10:03

    @liamwaterloo @caspararemi @Baxfail its safe but its no miracle. Being cautious is still the best bet I think.

  17. stopredlight

    5 Sep 2012 at 10:22

    @Baxfail that is a well written article, young man. Ever considered writing a book?

  18. andyluvv

    5 Sep 2012 at 10:30

    My problem with your argument is mainly that you seem completely blind that condoms are not really fool proof – therefore the more people you sleep with, the more are your chances of contracting something. And also that it seems that what you are arguing is – if you have a problem with your partner – you can always find another one to make you happy. It seems a bit of a selfish sentiment to just bring someone else because you can’t accept the limitations of someone you’re with.
     
    But hey – whatever rocks your boat! 😉

  19. divejunkie86

    5 Sep 2012 at 11:26

    @Baxfail It’s scary how much I agree with you on stuff. Except, I know it’s possible to use the same person for full kink and hangover sex!

  20. ErasureFace

    5 Sep 2012 at 12:00

    @Baxfail @sosogay Very honest piece Danny. Week done x

    • Baxfail

      5 Sep 2012 at 12:44

      @ErasureFace Thank you Paul! X

  21. chris_mandle

    5 Sep 2012 at 15:49

    @liamwaterloo I hope not, I can’t even get one.

    • liamwaterloo

      5 Sep 2012 at 15:50

      @chris_mandle I hear that, gurl. Or something.

  22. lee_lizard

    5 Sep 2012 at 15:51

    @liamwaterloo @sosogay noooo that’s just asking for problems !!!

  23. jasperconway1

    5 Sep 2012 at 16:02

    @liamwaterloo @guy_interruptd @Baxfail it gets dull, everyone is envious of soulmates and if your looking elsewhere your a sex addict

    • guy_interruptd

      5 Sep 2012 at 17:10

      @jasperconway1 @liamwaterloo @Baxfail I wouldn’t put it that way, it’s just another dimension in the sex spectrum. Some like it, some don’t

      • liamwaterloo

        5 Sep 2012 at 17:11

        @guy_interruptd @jasperconway1 @Baxfail I had a sex spectrum once. Everything was green and had terrible pixelation.

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:37

          @liamwaterloo @guy_interruptd @jasperconway1 To be fair, that’s the most facetious point. I only know one boring couple…

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:37

          @liamwaterloo @guy_interruptd @jasperconway1 …and that’s because it’s one made up of boring people!

        • guy_interruptd

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:38

          @Baxfail @liamwaterloo @jasperconway1 I don’t think anyone could accuse me or the BF for being boring 😀

        • guy_interruptd

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:38

          @Baxfail @liamwaterloo @jasperconway1 I don’t think anyone could accuse me or the BF of being boring 😀

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:40

          @guy_interruptd @liamwaterloo @jasperconway1 Well I wouldn’t like to assume. So I’ll wait for the long range pictures to develop.

        • guy_interruptd

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:41

          @Baxfail @liamwaterloo @jasperconway1 That was you? Oh dear, if I’d known I’d have broken out the new sling, not that tatty old one

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:42

          @guy_interruptd @liamwaterloo @jasperconway1 And maybe trimmed a little. Some photos I don’t know if that’s you or the plug hole.

        • guy_interruptd

          5 Sep 2012 at 17:43

          @Baxfail @liamwaterloo @jasperconway1 It’s OK, I did my nostrils this afternoon…

  24. lee_lizard

    5 Sep 2012 at 16:06

    @liamwaterloo @guy_interruptd @baxfail very very interesting !!!!

  25. cityboyben

    5 Sep 2012 at 16:25

    @liamwaterloo @guy_interruptd @Baxfail I agree with Danny. Just thought I’d put that out there

    • guy_interruptd

      5 Sep 2012 at 17:07

      @cityboyben @liamwaterloo @Baxfail The only thing I disagree with in the article is the boring vs. wild statement. I explore myself more in

    • guy_interruptd

      5 Sep 2012 at 17:08

      @cityboyben @liamwaterloo @Baxfail …relationships, and you can absolutely cater for all sides of your sexual personality with one person

  26. JohnDrover

    5 Sep 2012 at 17:00

    @liamwaterloo @SoSoGay That @Baxfail guy is half smart, and a good writer. Food for thought, even though I’ve eaten at that banquet before.

  27. RockIsSponge

    5 Sep 2012 at 17:06

    This is a great article, thought provoking and shines a light on something I don’t think many people like to talk about. 
     
    But this: “If you’re in a monogamous relationship, you can’t have both; either the sex will be too boring or too wild.” – this is painfully simplified. A partner isn’t a pet to use for sex/love/companionship, but a human being in their own right, and sometimes their wants and needs won’t match yours – so running to Grindr the moment you’re not getting the shag you want seems a little daft. This generation of ‘I want, I get’ doesn’t really develop a sense of ‘put some effort in, reap the rewards…’
     

  28. silkandskin

    5 Sep 2012 at 18:09

    @Baxfail Literally a very good article.

    • Baxfail

      5 Sep 2012 at 18:10

      @silkandskin Not metaphorically? *sigh* Back to the drawing board, I guess…

  29. Thiefree

    5 Sep 2012 at 18:15

    @Baxfail Love the article, lots to think about! I find it interesting that some people prompt a jealousy response in me while others don’t.

    • Baxfail

      5 Sep 2012 at 18:20

      @Thiefree Glad you like it! I always think about jealousy; I only seem to want people when I don’t have them.

      • Thiefree

        5 Sep 2012 at 18:22

        @Baxfail Maybe that’s it. Wasn’t bothered by idea of my last bf finding it elsewhere; was VERY bothered when a friend hit on a girl I fancy.

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 18:41

          @Thiefree NEW TOYS. You don’t mind about the old, chewed, discarded ones so much.

        • Thiefree

          5 Sep 2012 at 18:44

          @Baxfail I hope that’s not how I think… in any case, I’m swearing the whole thing off for now. Need to decide whether exclusivity matters.

        • Thiefree

          5 Sep 2012 at 18:44

          @Baxfail *whether exclusivity matters TO ME. Damn character limit.

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 18:49

          @Thiefree Ah yes. The age old question – ‘do I restrict myself to one person or not and have a much better time?’ A proper conundrum. >_>

        • Thiefree

          5 Sep 2012 at 18:52

          @Baxfail Fun and drama are directly proportional, and I don’t want anyone at all right now. Hassle.

        • sgsabbage

          5 Sep 2012 at 20:20

          @Thiefree @baxfail really interesting article, Bax. Echoes my feelings on the subject.

        • sgsabbage

          5 Sep 2012 at 20:27

          @Thiefree @baxfail my biggest problem with polygamy is I don’t have the time to be a good boyfriend to another guy/girl…….

        • Baxfail

          5 Sep 2012 at 20:29

          @sgsabbage @thiefree Just be a mediocre one then!

        • sgsabbage

          5 Sep 2012 at 20:30

          @Baxfail @thiefree I’d be an absent one….

  30. PoBK

    5 Sep 2012 at 18:52

    @Baxfail nice read.

  31. markryes

    6 Sep 2012 at 12:08

    @TheBigGayAl @SoSoGay thought it was a great article

    • TheBigGayAl

      6 Sep 2012 at 12:10

      @markryes @sosogay a great honest piece

      • markryes

        6 Sep 2012 at 14:45

        @TheBigGayAl totally

  32. NickdeFig

    9 Sep 2012 at 23:13

    @funkydudechris I think that’s by @Baxfail

    • Baxfail

      9 Sep 2012 at 23:17

      @NickdeFig @funkydudechris Ive really *got* to tell @liamwaterloo to stop putting my real name on stuff…

      • NickdeFig

        9 Sep 2012 at 23:20

        @Baxfail @funkydudechris @liamwaterloo I just read it and as usual I love your writing Bax. A really excellent article.

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:23

          @NickdeFig Thank you Nick. I really appreciate that :) X

        • NickdeFig

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:27

          @Baxfail No worries dude. :-) I’m just sorry I haven’t said it before. On here and in longer stuff you are so, so good with words. Genuinely

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:27

          @NickdeFig Favourited for my own ego later. Better than porn, that! :p

        • joeugh

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:29

          @NickdeFig @Baxfail I agree! But, just so your head doesn’t explode…no, I got nothing

        • sprinklelight

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:30

          @joeugh @NickdeFig @Baxfail I also agree. Master wordsmith.

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:30

          @joeugh @nickdefig Go with what my mother tells me – ‘there’s no-one in the world capable of loving a monster like you’. Bless that woman <3

        • NickdeFig

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:32

          @Baxfail @joeugh Your mum is also a legend. You should get drunk together and film it. Every week.

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:34

          @NickdeFig @joeugh I think we’d die…

        • NickdeFig

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:35

          @Baxfail @joeugh You can’t die, the alcohol already in you has surely embalmed you enough by now for you to live into your 200s.

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:36

          @NickdeFig @joeugh Between that and the virgins’ blood, I should live forever!

        • Hghchris4

          10 Sep 2012 at 00:08

          @Baxfail loved the article dude!

        • Baxfail

          10 Sep 2012 at 07:11

          @Hghchris4 Thanks, Chris! 😀 X

      • funkydudechris

        9 Sep 2012 at 23:27

        @Baxfail blame @divejunkie86 , he told me about it / who wrote it 😉

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:29

          @funkydudechris @divejunkie86 Oh, that Guinness! He’s a crafty one, him. Probably why I adore him so.

        • divejunkie86

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:32

          @Baxfail @funkydudechris you guys…. aww shucks! :p

      • BigBigBen

        9 Sep 2012 at 23:35

        @Baxfail @nickdefig @funkydudechris @liamwaterloo great article! Fully agree. Can’t beat a good 3 way either XD

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:37

          @BigBigBen *says nothing* :p

        • BigBigBen

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:38

          @Baxfail *whistles* stealthy bax

        • johnlinford

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:38

          @BigBigBen there was me thinking you were a good monogamous boy! (threesomes are fun) @baxfail @nickdefig @funkydudechris @liamwaterloo

        • johnlinford

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:39

          @BigBigBen @baxfail you two clearly had a three way. So spotted.

        • NickdeFig

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:39

          @johnlinford @BigBigBen @Baxfail @funkydudechris @liamwaterloo I’m counting 6 of us in that tweet…

        • johnlinford

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:40

          @NickdeFig control yourself dear… @bigbigben @baxfail @funkydudechris @liamwaterloo

        • Baxfail

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:44

          @johnlinford @bigbigben You can’t have a three way with only two people. Silly John.

        • BigBigBen

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:45

          @Baxfail @johnlinford yeah John.

        • johnlinford

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:46

          @Baxfail @bigbigben well obviously Ben’s cute boyfriend was involved…

        • johnlinford

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:46

          @BigBigBen @baxfail frankly your attitude reeks of guilt!

        • BigBigBen

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:47

          @johnlinford @baxfail I’ve never had a threesome with bax and my bf. I swear.

        • ShugMiller

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:48

          @BigBigBen Christ, that’s a politicians answer. So we’re not ruling out threesomes with @baxfail elsewhere? @johnlinford o_O

        • johnlinford

          9 Sep 2012 at 23:48

          @BigBigBen @baxfail about as believable as Clinton. If it wasn’t your boyfriend…

  33. Hghchris4

    10 Sep 2012 at 00:07

    @funkydudechris after a shit day at work that really made me smile!

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